My lost love

This was not the first time
My heart pumped to the depths
My hurt deeper than the deep:
Pain, ordeal, agony
All alone I bear
Without any to share
When the most, them I needed.

I raised my head high into the closed heavens
Yet could not hide my ever dropping tears
Nor one, a kin to find so near
In my solitude, my loneliness to share
Solitude not needed, loneliness incurable
Like a plague to eat me up from within:
Everything that meant much
Like a horse strong, like a fortress fortified
Guarded by its thick brick walls
All, this flood water, away took.

With crossed fingers I watched and gazed
As the only help I had, my hands
Never forsook me, but by me stood.
Gashing memories rose tall to their peak
Yet found I nothing but ashes and scars
All gone and without a single trace
What this flood water took away
With the wind its rushing sounds an aid.

Fainting memories I can only picture not revive
Painful memories that make me weep and weaker
Bitter memories flashing contours on my clear face
Sounding memories soft and calm like a whisper
Tearing apart and asunder everything on its way.

With that gaze in her blazing eyes
I know no more what once a smiling face.
Her hand moved towards the door
Her legs through the exit
My hand failed to hold
My legs standing glued to the ground
All with her, only with a bank
Never to return home, again into my bosom.